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They Called It: Analysts who Foresaw Boom Performances... and those who didn't
Hey y'all! As I'm sure is common knowledge, FantasyPros offers ECR (expert consensus rankings) every week. Some experts appear as outliers in these rankings—for example, Kevin Tompkins of Fighting Chance Fantasy ranked Josh Jacobs 26th this week—and sometimes, they're entirely correct. This post highlights the experts who totally fuckin' nailed it on this week's biggest boom performances. All figures from PPR leagues.
Jeff Wilson Jr. (RB1, 32.0). Because Jet thrust himself into Shanahan's wife, Jeff Wilson Jr. was the highest scoring RB this week. No analyst predicted this. However, Raju Byfield of Win My Fantasy League ranked Wilson Jr. 30th, a departure of +26 from ECR. Chet Gresham of DK Nation deserves an honorable mention here: he ranked this guy 34th. Todd Gurley (RB5, 22.2). The Atlanta Falcons lost because their star RB scored a touchdown, but Zachary Hanshew of FantasyPros won. This expert ranked Gurley 5th (ECR 10), the only analyst to nail this ranking. Diontae Johnson (WR2, 29.0). If you owned and started Diontae, congratulations! He's injured again. Andrew Erickson of FantasyPros ranked Johnson eighth this week, +32 over ECR and 11 spots above where any other analyst dared to put him. What a call! D.J. Moore (WR5, 25.3). He turned five catches into 25.3 points, so it might be time to sell high on him. But then again, y'all'd sell Jesus after two days in the tomb. A site which sells marvelous sofas (go on, click the link, I shit you very little) ranked D.J. 11th this week, his highest ranking and +9 from the ECR. Check the FantasyPros rankings for proof too. Harrison Bryant (TE1, 21.6). Nobody dared rank this long-neck adonis higher than 15th except for my lad Walter B.D. Cherepinsky, who slotted him 12th in PPR. He also had Hunter Henry as a top-3 option but that's mostly immaterial, right?
There aren't many cardinal rules in Fantasy Football, but there's three this season. Never start a running back against Tampa Bay. Never rely on Mike Evans to do anything. And, if there is indeed an opportunity for Le'Veon Bell to fuck you over, then he will fuck you over. And with that, these are the biggest busts of the week (and the analysts who called 'em). Josh Jacobs (RB36, 6.1). You idiot. You fucking idiot. You started him, didn't you? You can wallow in all the absinthe and and laboratory-grade ethanol you want, but this is on you. You are the problem. Some people, like Kevin Tompkins of Fighting Chance Fantasy, realized this was a bad idea. He ranked Jacobs 26th in PPR, a departure of -18 from ECR. Ezekiel Elliott (RB37, 6.1). And then there was one. Of the top six consensus picks, only Alvin Kamara hasn't yet given his owners aneurysms, hemorrhoids, or, God forbid, some combination of the two. Elliott finished 37th in RBs this week, an outcome best forecasted by Derek Lofland of FantasyPros, who slotted him in at 12th. Mike Evans (WR>50, 5.7). I'm gonna level with you – about 50 WRs scored double digits in PPR. Evans was not one of them, and I'm too lazy to count. Christopher Dell of BettingPredators boldly ranked Evans 27th this week. This was topped only by CBS' Jamey Eisenberg, who tossed Evans' 6'6 carcass in at the 30th slot. Jerrick McKinnon (fuck you, -0.1). Some dude by the name of Hassan Shabazz of SleeperWire ranked Jet 52nd, about 26 spots below the ECR. I don't know what this means but I am very uncomfortable. Patrick Mahomes (QB19, 14.0). Who else thought that Mahomes was lighting up Denver this week? Not the lads over at Daily Roto, who ranked him as the QB11. Incidentally, KJ—no last name, just KJ—ranked Mahomes 10th. You can see this over at the FantasyPros ECR.
Miss of the Week
Isaiah Sirois of FantasyPros had a comically shit week. In a matchup where most analysts correctly predicted that Davante Adams would be the WR1, Sirois slated him in at 12th. I could forgive this if he didn't also rank Keenan Allen (WR8, 22.5) and Terry McLaurin (WR10, 22.0) at 21 and 22, respectively, while bumping Chase Claypool 22 spots up to WR7. What a flaming jackass. That's all for this week folks! EDIT: Some of the analysts listed here have actually read this post. I'm flattered. Isaiah, if you're reading this, I'm sorry for calling you a flaming jackass. We can drop the adjective – you're a jackass at worst. Much love!
Hello fellow Redditors! I work in a small pet store (not in the US) which is pretty local business so I know most of the dogs that live around here. New owners with new pups come by from time to time but since COVID restrictions eased during the summer I’ve noticed a huge increment of new puppies, most of them to first time owners and almost all of them of toy breeds (Chihuahua, Yorkshire, Maltese...) that, as the owners say, “are easier to take care of and don’t need a lot of exercise”. I’ve also had a handful of people asking if I sell dogs and, when told no, asking where can they buy a dog. In my city almost no one sells puppies anymore and before COVID no one ever asked me to buy a puppy so it’s a big change. To this people I always explain how to find a good breeder and why they shouldn’t be window shopping a dog. In the end the facts are that there’s a puppy boom of store bought puppies and [Craigslist equivalent]’s puppies to inexperienced owners and I’m feeling kinda sad about it. I try my best day by day to explain the basics of puppy training to these new owners inbetween customers but there’s only so much I can do in 5 min. I’m dreading the moment COVID is over and this “the dog keeps me company during lockdown” becomes “the dog is alone 15 hours a day because I have a life outside”, or the “dog walks to escape confinement” become “four walks a day???? In the rain????????? No way”. I’m not saying everyone is like this but some of them will be and I’m feeling for the pups. Have you noticed the same? Is this happening everywhere? EDIT: Wow guys this blew up. At almost 400 comments I’m afraid I can’t keep a conversation going with all of you but I’ve read every one of them. Let me clarify a few things: In the post I wasn’t talking about EVERY new owner. We’ve all been first time owners at some point and did our best. The point is to do your best, and try to learn, and put the effort. My worries in the post are about people who are not willing to put the effort and will lose interest in the dog once COVID passes or they are too much to handle. I wasn’t talking about EVERY COVID puppy either. I know working from home is an amazing opportunity to train and bond with your puppy so if you were thinking of getting a dog, did your research, are willing to commit, and COVID happened to be the perfect scenario I’m so happy for you! Enjoy puppyhood, it’s beautiful! Lastly, some of you have mentioned the passing of your friends during this year and I wanted to say I’m so sorry for your losses and I know your new COVID puppies will bring a lot of happiness. The post wasn’t about you either.
They Called It: Analysts who Foresaw Boom Performances... and those who didn't (Week 8)
Hey y'all! As I'm sure is common knowledge, FantasyPros offers ECR (expert consensus rankings) every week. Some experts appear as outliers in these rankings—for example, Seth Klein of Fantrax ranked Adam Thielen 23rd this week—and sometimes, they're entirely correct. This post highlights the experts who totally fuckin' nailed it on this week's biggest boom performances. All figures from PPR leagues.
Matthew Stafford (QB4, 28.44). What a week for Matty S, who dragged the Lions to within twenty points of the Colts! This was an awesome week for Kevin Scott of The Intersecting, who ranked Stafford as the QB6—ten spots over the ECR. DeeJay Dallas (RB5, 22.8). DeeJay Dallas just DeeJay Dicked the San Francisco 49ers, scoring twice en route to an RB1 performance. Dallas' biggest believer was Scott Engel of RotoBaller, who slotted the Seahawks RB in at RB21. This deviated +19 over the ECR. Giovani Bernard (RB4, 22.8). Joe Mixon, Richard Nixon, Destiny Dixon idgaf, Bernard better than all of 'em. And my lad WALTER B.D. CHEREPINSKY called this one. His reasoning behind this prediction? "Giovani Bernard can be started with Joe Mixon is out again." [sic] Robert Woods (WR3, 28.4). Robert "distributing dat" Wood(s) engaged in beastiality this week, taking the Dolphins for 7/85/1 and a rushing score. This lad Kevin Scott, who also called Stafford's breakout week, must be sippin' the fine cognac tonight! (Or whatever fantasy analysts can afford, so probably watered-down absinthe) Corey Davis (WR5, 26.8). I know what you're thinking. Listen – do not pick up Corey Davis. He will fuck you. He will bend you over, open up a 55-gallon drum of lube, proceed not to use it and fuck you. That being said, my guy Isaiah Sirois, who had him a shit week last time around, pleasantly slotted in Davis as his WR22, +11 over the ECR. Nice call!
I'm sure one of you out there started all four of these players. Take a good look at yourself, consider where you went wrong, then drown your sorrows in laboratory-grade ethanol. Josh Allen (QB20, 12.46). Not the greatest week for Josh Allen. Now that people are low on him, I finally feel comfortable stating that he does not look good in shorts. His calves look like listless hotdogs and I don't like it. Neither does Zachary Hanshew of FantasyPros, who damn near nailed his ranking of Allen at QB19. Great work bromigo! Jonathan Taylor (💩, 5.1). Unbelievable. In a week where Taylor was ranked as the RB4 overall, he watches Wilkins get 20 carries while taking his 13 touches for 29 yards. Who else would call this but WALTER, who slotted him in at RB11, -7 from the ECR. D.J. Moore (WR48, 7.5). Say it with me: WALTER B.D. GODDAMN CHEREPINSKY! Unreal! He slotted in D.J. Moore as his WR27 this week, -13 from the ECR. The man may be #137 in accuracy (out of about 137), but fuck me if he doesn't make ballsy calls! Diontae Johnson (fuck you, <2). You can blame shitty injury luck all you want, but at some point you gotta look to the common denominator. You. It's you. You suck at fantasy football. You are still reading this while being belittled – do you like that, you dirty pig baby bitch? You masochist. Who called this bust? Simply Walter, who slotted Johnson in at WR46, twenty spots below the ECR. What a week.
Miss of the Week
Until he gives me a reason not to, this section is dedicated to whoever ranked Davante Adams the lowest. This week it was simply KJ of Fantasy Team Advice, who ranked Davante at 13... Julio Jones at 19... Tyler Boyd at 32... and also Tee Higgins at 35. All four were -12 behind the ECR. Incidentially, the three analysts who ranked Davante Adams the lowest are #143, #144, and #149 in accuracy. How's that going for y'all, bitches? Enjoy your Sunday night!
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